丫雅雅丫’s Blog

我一直都很清楚，也不停的在提醒自己，不要对某人或是某件事情抱着太多的期望，一味的在期盼自己想要的结局。因为一旦没实现到，最终觉得受伤难过心酸和生气的是会是自己，而不是对方的错。这种很复杂的感觉就是失望。我不能对他发脾气，只能自己生闷气；我不能把罪过丢给他，因为他从来没答应我什么；我不能责怪他没做到我想要的，因为这是我自己对他存有很多的期望，是我自己把自己想要的放在他身上，希望他会去帮我实现，这是自己的不对，不是他。

然而，我却一次又一次的在期望着什么，然后又一次有一次的在失望难过生闷气。真的很痛苦。一直叫自己不再去想，不再去幻想，那么一切就会很好过，但是最后我却失败了，搞到自己很受伤。

我想放弃再去注意他，关心他，帮他，陪他；但是我却下不了决心。我想以后只做朋友；但又不肯放弃，想要和他在一起。

在我心中，想要和他一起做的事情有很多很多，但是却没有一样实现过。我尝试主动的去实现自己想要的，但是结果却不理想。现在想开始去把这些一件又一件的”期望“ 与 “希望“从心中删除掉，请问我可以做到吗？我舍得放弃吗？

突然，我很想回到去没有认识他的时候…今天情绪很激动，很多东西闷在心里很难受…

Expectation and disappointment

I have been very clear, and also remind constantly myself…

Do not holding to much expectation on someone or something…

It is because of didn’t have expectation, didn’t have disappointed…

I often told myself don’t Looking forward to the outcome that i wanted…

But i can’t…I still continue to do it…as a result, i’m not happy and feel upset…

How can i stop to do it…HOW???

I would like to forget him…but can’t…and can i more courage??

pls dun think too much lar yia yin…plsss~~

Today i very emotional…have many negative  thinking…sad~~

Hope tomorrow will be a new day for me…

今天，一個人…靜靜的…靜靜的…呆在家...哪里都沒去…一個人…傻傻的..傻傻的…呆在家…迎接這個全新的自己…十九歲的自己...

今天是我要感恩的一個大日子，感恩我的媽媽在1990年11月22日辛苦的把我生出來，感恩爸爸辛苦的把我養育成人。他們對我的付出是在太多的，無私的付出所有愛，只希望我可以健康成長，平平安安的。

很感動媽媽今天很有心思的為我慶生。

上完跆拳道課后，媽媽便帶我去買了兩件蛋糕來為我慶生，我們一邊享用著那兩件不同口味的蛋糕，我一邊聽著媽媽向我敘述當年—1990年11月22日那天是如何把我生出來的。那一刻，我覺得很感動 T.T

除此之外，她還送我一份禮物，這份禮物是我夢寐以求的禮物，我很喜歡這份禮物。她今天對我很好，真的很感動。

雖然今天一個人呆在家里傻傻的，心中有些納悶，不過如果我懂得知足，就會感覺到滿足。

19 Nov 2009

Sometimes, when i feel no mood, unhappy, i also hope that someone can concern me, take care of me and make me smile or laugh…
When I think my world is dark, I also hope someone can help me paint up my world some color …

 I really feel helpless…Am i a good friend??
How can i help you to fill up the colour into your world and life…

11 Nov 2009

Although recently got many work need to finish as soon as possible, and the second semester’s exam is coming soon, feel stress…but 2day I feel a bit happy and relax..there have been some thing happen 2day..have a good mood. Hope this good mood will continue to 2moro…

5 Nov 2009

Hated myself:

1. Can’t control my temper   2.Too jealous  3.Not proactive  4.Too quiet 

5.thinking too much  6.Shy  7.Lazy  8.No goal  9.Poor in English 

10.Obsessed with the Internet, waste a lot of time

Others:

1. Playing this type of game- Truth or Dare    2.Doing assignment

3.Busy doing work    4.Insomia   5.Waiting   6.Thinking too much

7.People who doesn’t keep it’s promise   8.Sickness  9.Perverted guy   

10.Lonely   11.Hot weather  12.Been wronged  13.Been nagging   14.Quarrel

15.Extra Class on Saturday   16.Class at afternoon   17.Been scold

5 Nov 2009

Food and Drink

1.Shusi   2.Pizza   3.Teh tarik   4.coffee/Nescafe   5.Ice Lemon Tea  6. Roti Canai/Telur Bawang   7.Grilled Chicken   8.BBQ    9.Cake (choco/blueberry)  10. Orange/Kiwi/Mango/Carot juice/Watermelon juice/Sugar cane

People/Friend

1. Ching Huei  2. Ee Wen  3. Pei Pei  4. Lee Zhi  5. Sora  6. Kim Bee  7. Enren 俊輝  8. Tun Ming( Taekwondo coach)  9. Min Huei  10. Lecturer ( Ecc/Acc/Qm)

Sports

1. Taekwondo  2. Badminton  3. Bicycle  4. Jogging  5. Skipping  6. Swimming ( but I won’t swim, who can teach me! )

Colour

1. Purple  2. Red  3. Black  4. White  5. Orange  6. Apple Green 

Boy that I Like :

1. Handsome/Charm   2. Cute   3. Humor   4. Tall/same height with me  5. Proactive   6. Sporty   7. Naughty but not rude

Activities:

1.Make-up  2.Window Shopping alone  3.Shopping with Friend  4.Watch Movie on Cinema   5.Watch TV Show/Drama at home   6.Participate Camp    7.Traveling   8.Watch boy playing basketball   9.Cooking and share it with my friend  10.Take photo 

Other :

1.Dreaming   2.Kissing  3.Hug   4.Praise   5.Handsome boy look at me  6.Handsome boy talk to me   7.Receive Gift   8.Accessories that have cute frog  9. Cool weather

【have any queation wanna ask me, can leave message here, i will reply ohh…hmm hmm!】

THANKS FOR READING

3 Nov 2009

有句俗語說：家有一老，如有一老。但在我家，這句話變成了：家有一老，如有一煩惱/開心果。為什么會是“煩惱”又“開心果”呢?!

自從我外公過世不久后，我的外婆也就中風了，所以身為子女的啊姨和舅舅決定把外婆從家鄉（家鄉在金寶）接出來吉隆坡，和我們一起住，以方便我們照顧她老人家。在我家，她的日常習慣就只有吃、喝、睡和看戲。一個曾經中風的老人家能做的事情除了這些還有什么?! 其實她還有很多事情可以做的，但就奇怪為什么她就是不做。我媽媽、爸爸、阿姨和舅舅都那他沒辦法。所以他們常常為了她的健康而操心和煩惱。另一邊箱，我最喜歡的時光就是我們一家人和外婆一起吃飯/用餐。因為只有在飯桌上大家有說有笑的，很開心。像是前天-禮拜日，我們中午出外用餐，我的外婆竟然帶了一幅墨鏡出門，真可愛吖～哈哈很酷吧。哈哈～這幾天她住在我的家，雖然她無所事事的時候會有些煩人，但她是我最可愛的外婆。哈哈。

English Version:

“yesterday’s mother V.S today’s mother”. Since my grandfather died and then my grandmother stroke, we take my grandmother out from hometown and stay with us at here.

Recent, my grandmother was staying at my house. She very cute. That day, we bring her out for lunch. She wear sunglasses when go out with us, Hahaa…so funny..i taken some foto..

2 Nov 2009

Wanna write blog today but dunno what can i writing here…

Now I’m feeling mess..dunno why?! May be I know the true reason, just don’t know how to express it…ANNOYING~

Currently got a bit busy…busy doing coursework and wanna start prepare exam ler…Huuu~ feel stress in this few day…hope I can handle this well…

My friend was planning to do a gathering, before our take exam,hope can join this gathering…hope can enjoy and relax with my friend before exam coming..Hehee..